Lauria Meadoff: “How do the cultural clashes between the traditional Indian culture and the emergence of technology (such as text messaging and internet dating) affect romantic relationships in India”?
Traditionally Indian families choose a groom for their daughter to marry. Arranged marriages are still very common in India especially on the countryside in the villages. It is the mother and father that decides which man is suitable for their daughter (and family) to marry. Many times the couple about to get married haven’t even met once before the marriage ceremony is about to take place. From what I have heard and read traditionally the marriage is a very strict and sacramental vow. Compared to the western world there are still very few people who has been divorced. In India like marriage between religious believers the marriage means everything, your honor and your faith. Usually couples stay together even though they really could need to separate. Just to mention what I wrote about in question number two. Sometimes the man is secretly homosexual but still the couples stay together for avoiding not putting shame on themselves and their whole families. In smaller villages for example getting a divorce would probably mean that the families involved would not get accepted from the society and many times they have to run away.
As I have put forward before there are a lot of different classes in India. The really low class the people living on the streets they sadly and evidently don’t have the possibility to use cellular phones and computers. This fact makes this group (big group) of people fall out of this question. Another group that I won’t concern myself of writing too much about is the new modern and usually pretty rich class. They seem to become more and more western and they use computers and cellular phones as much as we do. It is as normal as wearing Levi’s jeans and a Benetton T-shirt instead of a Sari or Kurta. But it is the people between these two groups, I wouldn’t call them middle class, but they are in the middle. This group is very interesting to discuss when it comes to this question. It is they who still arrange marriages and also use text messaging and internet dating. As I read in an article: “The Internet has replaced the “nayan” or the traditional matchmaker or communicator in Indian arranged marriages. It is a vehicle of social change in a country where pre-marital relationships are frowned upon”[1]. From what I have understood the new technology seem to be a big help for romantic relationships in India (If we talk about the group of people I just described). Internet dating has made it much easier for women to find a partner fast. Traditionally a woman is supposed to wait for the man to ask for her hand and usually he goes around to many different women before her. Many times he get’s promised to someone else before even reaching the other homes. Now the woman can take matters into her own hands and find a partner through internet dating.
Also text messaging has nowadays a huge impact on romantic relationships in India. “The cell phone has become India’s new organ of lust and love,”2 said Suhel Seth, an advertising executive based in New Delhi who contributed to an anthology about being single in India. What he meant was that it is so much easier to show the person you’re interested in that you really are interested. India has a tradition of not showing the world your love for you partner openly, like we do in the west by kissing on the street and hugging etc. Here in Mumbai the love for each other is only shown when no other person is looking. Text messaging has improved this immensely because now it can be shown in secret but still preformed on the street, if you know what I mean.
I think the new emergence of technology in many more ways than I have described helps romantic relationships in India. I mean it seem to help in their daily lives. Let me give you an example: Indians are hard working people, from what I have seen. It is very important to have a job and whatever it might be they are usually pretty proud about what they do. Regularly it is the man who works and the woman who is home with the children and family (grandmother and grandfather). Work is of course a necessity and in many cases the man has to work all day and all night. This means obviously that Indians don’t have the same kind of romantic relationships like we have in the west, were we (I) try to spend most of my time with my boyfriend and my family. In India they don’t have the time but cell phones has made the distance between the partners shorter than before. The can call whenever they want and reach each other more easily than they used to. It is of course important to mention that internet, like all over the world, has also made it easier to old of illegal material such as porno. The development is probably not all good.
With the great economical development that India is under right at this moment I believe that the clashes between traditional Indian culture and new technology drastically will increase with time. As India get more and more influenced by the western world, time and space will shorten and sooner than we can imagine Indians will marry each other in cyberspace.
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1 (http://www.allacademic.com/meta/p_mla_apa_research_citation/0/1/4/7/1/p14713_index.html?type=info)
2 http://onlinepersonalswatch.typepad.com/news/2007/09/indias-usage-of.html
